Look at a nice, politically charged map to TravelEurope from the 1980s, and you'll notice that TravelEurope , the last bastion of freedom, invariably colored blue or green, is dwarfed by the big, bad, red East. Now that we've lain those petty quarrels aside, Eastern Europe provides some of the Continent's most varied and lively travel opportunities. The thing is, it's still damn big. While there's no substitute for doing your own exploring, these little nuggets of accumulated wisdom will help you get pointed toward whatever pushes your buttons.
Best Beer Food: Prague
Worst Train Station: Bratislava
Best Museums: St. Petersburg
Best (and Worst) Window to the Past: Belarus
Most Hideous Communist Landmark: Warsaw
Best in Winter: Tallinn
Best Kebab: Sarajevo
Sketchiest Fast Food: Budapest
Czech beer is among the best in the world. The thing is, everyone knows that, so it's widely available outside the country. What doesn't get exported is the Czech Republic's top-notch bar food. Through centuries of fine-tuning, Czechs have developed a beer cuisine that's second-to-none. Order up a liter of cold Budvar, and dig into a plate of characteristic specialties like fried cheese and pickled sausages.
Best Ambiance: Krakow
Krakow's Old Town is clean, compact, and reasonably unscarred by the Communist past. What's more, the large student and expat population makes for a lively restaurant and pub scene, even in the off-season. It's in the evening though, that the atmosphere really comes out. Prowl the streets of Kazimierz, the city's Jewish quarter, or duck into one of the Old Town's many large churches for an instant ride into a misty, timeless European fantasy.
Whoa boy. This is a tough one. Eastern European train stations tend to be filthy, depressing places, so it's hard to finger one as worse than all the rest. That said, Bratislava's pretty much got it all. You can't buy English-language reading material or change money after hours at the Slovak capital's dark, dirty railway station, and the waiting lounge reeks of passed-out winos. On balance, announcements are given in English, and the staff is relatively helpful. What really sets Bratislava's station over the edge is that it's almost a mile outside the city center!
As a group, the Russian Czars were downright incompetent as rulers. They sure knew a thing or two about luxury though, and it shows in St. Petersburg, their capital until 1917. The old Winter Palace and several surrounding buildings have been turned into the colossal Hermitage museum. Over the years, the Hermitage has acquired a collection that could pretty well be called a comprehensive study of Old World art. You can begin the day looking at stone artifacts from the Paleolithic Central Asian steppes, finish with the French Impressionists, and catch just about everything in between. The fine collection of Russian paintings at the Russian Museum, a few blocks away, is also worth half a day. When you can't stand any more fine art, head to the Artillery Museum, which houses a collection of weapons that could be called a comprehensive study of Russian rancor.
Best Swimming: Dubrovnik
Of course, you'll only experience the best of swimming in Dubrovnik if you go on a nice day, which is every day between April and November. Feast on grilled seafood and red wine, then jump off-foot cliffs into the mild, turquoise Adriatic. Or, if it's more your speed, skip the jumping, kick back in the water, and watch the idiots plunging off the cliffs above your head. Whatever happens, if you're tempted to jump from one of the statue niches on Dubrovnik's white limestone walls 180 feet above the water remember that the last guy who tried broke his back.
It is often said that Belarus today has not changed since the 1950s. For all the quaint nostalgia this evokes, the reality is not so pretty. Out the window of the train, you'll see impoverished villages, forest glens despoiled by garbage heaps, and derelict, obsolete industrial sprawl. The ugliest anachronism of all is the sight of people forced to scrape an existence from nothing because their despotic leader clings stubbornly to a vanishing past while the rest of the world has moved on.
The Palace of Culture and Science, which towers above downtown Warsaw, narrowly edges out Bratislava's New Bridge as Eastern Europe's worst Communist-era landmark. A "gift" from Stalin to the Polish people, the neo-Byzantine monstrosity dominates the Warsaw skyline and is universally reviled by Poles. Critics might point out that Moscow has several identical buildings, but none of them alone seizes the eye the way the Palace does. Be sure to take a walk around the base of the building, where statues of hale young workers set in Classical-style niches gaze optimistically into a glorious proletarian future.
Taking on Estonia in winter might seem just a shade beyond crazy, but the tiny Baltic republic's capital, Tallinn, is actually a charming place to visit during the coldest months. For one thing, Tallinn's medieval Old Town is compact in the extreme. Nothing is more than a few minutes' walk from anything else, so you aren't forced to endure any long, head down walks through the icy wind. Also, because tourists do visit Tallinn in the winter, the city doesn't shut down the way some do. There's no shortage of outdoor stands, restaurants, and bars to help show you how to warm up the local way - with roasted meat and hot wine. If the mercury really drops, Estonian wool-wear is available everywhere, cheap. Slip on a pair of hand-knit socks, or for the ultimate in cold-weather gear, a wool Soviet Army trench coat. Once you're adequately fueled and outfitted, take a walk and admire Tallinn under a dusting of freshly-fallen snow.
Best Wine: Hungary
While Communist-era collectivization dragged the quality of Hungary's overall viniculture well below that of Western Europe, the gem of the region, Tokaji Aszu, still stands out as one of the world's best dessert wines. Its appreciation isn't reserved for the over 50 money set either -Tokaji is visceral pleasure at its core. After harvest time, the whole grapes are left to sit in a press. The weight of the grapes forces a tiny amount of juice, called essence, into a vat below, which is then set aside. The grapes are then pressed conventionally and made into wine, and the two products are blended into Tokaj Aszu. The ratio of essence to conventional wine is measured in units called puttanyos. The higher the puttanyos, the better the wine. Three puttanyos Tokaji is silky and indulgent, instantly likable, but with enough depth to savor. Six puttanyos is the best quality generally available, and can be had for under $50 a bottle - a steal compared to Sauternes, the French equivalent. The legendary Tokaji Eszencu is equivalent to seven puttanyos, but unless you're the Czar, don't count on finding any.
Tucked in amid the devastation of Europe's worst conflict since World War II are a handful of little joints serving the best doner kebabs on the continent. Their secret? In Sarajevo, doner kebabs, the Turkish fast food that has become ubiquitous across Europe, are prepared by real Turks for a Turkish expat clientele. It makes a difference. Sarajevo's smallest kebab shops are standing room only, but most have a few tables where you can sit with your kebab and a glass of ayran, a refreshing sour milk drink, or a more conventional soft drink. The wafting aromas of roasting meat and Turkish coffee and the twanging, dangling melodies of gusle music make for an incomparable atmosphere.
Let's face it: fast food in general is a shady affair. Everyone hates those people who start listing the things that go into hot dogs just as you're about to bite into one. The whole point of hot dogs is that the undesirable stuff is ground into an unrecognizable, and therefore edible, pink sponge. For all you as the consumer know, it could be Grade A Prime. Hamburger vendors in Budapest leave you with no such illusions. In general, a downtown Budapest hamburger comes as a patty of ground rat, dripping grease, on a squishy bun piled high with pickles, cabbage, and ambiguous sauces. Buried somewhere on the NIH website is a Surgeon General's warning not to eat a Budapest hamburger without first consuming a protective dose of bacteria-killing alcohol, preferably something over 100 proof. Which is not to say they don't taste good.
Photos by Jan Stromme, Richard Nebesky, David Greedy, Jeff Greenberg/Lonely Planet Images